Sometimes the world can just get to you. Sometimes bug bites are outta control. Sometimes I just got to cry. Yeah, I know. I'm a huge cry baby. Emotional. Irrational. However you want to label such things. But hot showers are the one of the best places to release those tears, I tell ya. While the steam and the water pound your aching body, your tears and snot are just running. Cleansing. Yeah, that's the word. It felt cleansing. Let it all wash down the drain. Gone away. Bye-bye now.
So anywhosies. I went on another two mile run. I wanted to do three but just couldn't pump it out of me (one of the reasons I'm such a cry baby tonight). By that second mile, my toes were already numb and I knew if I kept going I would fall on my face because my knees were DONE. And it was like a bazillion degrees outside. I left my grandma cap at the office AND my water. What a lousy runner! Forgetting my essentials like that! But no matter what, I'm determined not to quit this time. MUST RUN AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK! MUST!!
But on my run today, I jogged very slowly and painfully past an older couple. Hands clasped, helping each other. Talking to each other. I couldn't hear their words because I had my playlist jamming in my ears; but I got a sense of joy emanating from them. He was engaged in her words, and she was animated. Light in her eyes, laughing, smiling. And their image together is stuck in my head. Like a slow motion scene, replaying. Her free hand drawing, shaping her words with back and forth strokes as she talked. The crinkle around his eyes and the wrinkle on the bridge of his nose as he was clearly amused by her story. The sun bright behind their bodies, somehow illuminating something inside both of them. These people know joy, I thought to myself. They only glanced at me, nodding graciously at me but their eyes obviously dancing for each other. I'd say they were about 60-ish. I ran past them but I looked back. I looked back because I wanted to catch one more glimpse of them and THAT vibe they were giving. They never looked back at me. Just continued on their way.
I looked away and resumed mypathetic challenging run. Today I ended my run with their image in my head and knew I yearned and craved what they had. I ended my run with a little moisture pooling in my eyes. And as emotions built inside of my little body, it slapped me in the face how angry and sad and bitter I still am. Yeah, Sabrina still needs some work and growing to do.
So anywhosies. I went on another two mile run. I wanted to do three but just couldn't pump it out of me (one of the reasons I'm such a cry baby tonight). By that second mile, my toes were already numb and I knew if I kept going I would fall on my face because my knees were DONE. And it was like a bazillion degrees outside. I left my grandma cap at the office AND my water. What a lousy runner! Forgetting my essentials like that! But no matter what, I'm determined not to quit this time. MUST RUN AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK! MUST!!
But on my run today, I jogged very slowly and painfully past an older couple. Hands clasped, helping each other. Talking to each other. I couldn't hear their words because I had my playlist jamming in my ears; but I got a sense of joy emanating from them. He was engaged in her words, and she was animated. Light in her eyes, laughing, smiling. And their image together is stuck in my head. Like a slow motion scene, replaying. Her free hand drawing, shaping her words with back and forth strokes as she talked. The crinkle around his eyes and the wrinkle on the bridge of his nose as he was clearly amused by her story. The sun bright behind their bodies, somehow illuminating something inside both of them. These people know joy, I thought to myself. They only glanced at me, nodding graciously at me but their eyes obviously dancing for each other. I'd say they were about 60-ish. I ran past them but I looked back. I looked back because I wanted to catch one more glimpse of them and THAT vibe they were giving. They never looked back at me. Just continued on their way.
I looked away and resumed my
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| Starring at the horizon, waiting, hoping... |
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