Sourness

WARNING: I'm in a hateful, ridiculously sour mood....... 

Monday's are always filled with sleepy murmurings of exhaustion, lack of sleep, and lack of motivation to get things done. Counterproductive thoughts lurk behind every good intention to get ahead and stay ahead. I don't know what is is about Mondays, but I do pity Monday; and yet, I, too could do without Mondays. Sorry, Monday. It's the truth. But I don't know what is about this day, there's always such negativity. All the relaxation and calm from the weekend is wasted and is almost as if the weekend were obsolete entirely. Should be a fresh start but no. It's a roller coaster collision with the ground from one hundred feet up. And today was just especially more rough with it being lil man's first day. Once again, crowds. Not that bad today but still, there were children, teachers, parents, grandparents, siblings, dogs milling around everywhere, talking all at once. And letting go of lil man today just tore my heart apart. When did he get so big? When did he grow so tall? Where is all his baby fat? And what happened to my resolve not to cry? So yeah, dealing with those emotions and then just the tension and negative vibes everywhere today!!! What a day indeed.

Ick....crowds...not my thang

And aside from all my mothering jitters and such....I felt like stabbing the world in the eye. Rude people on the phone. Rude people on the road. Rude people in traffic. Frown upon frown. Furrowed, angry eyebrows. Short, terse words. And soon, I found myself wearing such a sour, pouting face. Shortly thereafter I found myself detesting men. Detesting the men who sit under the tree right before you exit the gates at work. Just sitting there, ogling, whistling, cat-calling. Cat-calling---one of the most detestable forms of communication. Old men, young men, stupid men, ignorant men, educated men....all are susceptible to display such degradation of women. And as these thoughts took seed and bloomed, it dawned on me....I will probably be an old maid once divorced. There is this natural instinct in me to seek and desire to be with someone...I'm aware of this. And yet, little by little I don't care. 

And so....I hate men. There. I said it. Point blank. To the point. After all that rubbish above...the conclusion is that the idea of being single forever grows more appealing as I deal with more and more men who lack integrity, class, respect, and a brain, to say the least. Who has time for dating anyway? Who has time to meet anyone even to date? Call me bitter. Call me cynical. Call me whatever. I'm in a horrendous mood and it doesn't matter what you call me, I said it. So...yeah.